Dear School Nurse: BOOTYMAJERUS will not be attending school today. He/she has come down with a case of CAT SCRATCH FEVER and has horrible CHISTRY and a/an WHIMSICAL fever. We have made an appointment with the AMUSING Dr. TINKLE, who studied for many years in CHOCOLATE HILLS and has 88 degrees in pediatrics. He will send you all the information you need. Thank you! Sincerely Mrs. HUMDINGER.