Dear School Nurse: TWERPFARKEL will not be attending school today. He/she has come down with a case of COLD and has horrible MINISTER and a/an GLAMOUROUS fever. We have made an appointment with the SCARY Dr. TINKLE, who studied for many years in LONDON and has 25 degrees in pediatrics. He will send you all the information you need. Thank you! Sincerely Mrs. PANICKY.