Dear School Nurse: SMORGLEWEIRNIK will not be attending school today. He/she has come down with a case of ELEPANTIAS and has horrible RUBBER DUCKIES and a/an BUMPY fever. We have made an appointment with the GOOEY Dr. KRONGE, who studied for many years in ATLANTIC OCEAN and has 279 degrees in pediatrics. He will send you all the information you need. Thank you! Sincerely Mrs. STICKY.