Dear School Nurse: FUZZBUTTALBERS will not be attending school today. He/she has come down with a case of EBOLA and has horrible TOES and a/an SPLENDID fever. We have made an appointment with the IMMORAL Dr. BAHAHAHA, who studied for many years in PUNTA CANA and has 6 degrees in pediatrics. He will send you all the information you need. Thank you! Sincerely Mrs. ATTRACTIVE.